On A Quest For...Expert Advice

Do you have someone whose advice you could rely upon?  Someone who, when they whisper...you listen. Unfortunately, role models/mentors are hard to come by, especially for women and I'm a tiny bit old for Miley Cyrus, although I do agree with her on that vampire issue.   So, I read...and, I listen to women who have shown a reasonable amount of wisdom in their writings or dealings concerning life. I am frequently learning from other women who have shared their challenges and overcome large obstacles with dignity, integrity, and grace. Let me share a bit of the expert advice I have gotten from some inspiring women I've never met...listen up...I'm whispering.

I had, like most people, an ongoing obsession for many years with Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis (1929-1994).  She was thrust into our lives as our glamorous First Lady at the tender age of 31. She taught us dignity in grief as we all shared the loss of her husband in 1963. In 1968 she shocked the world as she married a Greek shipping tycoon who was 25 years her senior! We thought she had lost her mind and we had lost our courageous heroine.  Not so.  Onassis returned and repurposed (widowed again and a whole lot wealthier) to her beloved New York, settling in as a successful working girl/super mom to two top notch kids. I admire her most for her philosophy on child rearing..."If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do well matters very much." She died way too soon in 1994 at 65 of lymphatic cancer, but she will forever remain in my mind as the intelligent, cultured, elegant, First Lady/Mom of Camelot. 

Another lady I love to listen to is Joy Behar from The View. I don't think she has a whisper mode, though. I do like how she seems to tell it like it is and always with a dash of humor!   In a recent magazine interview, Behar states that humor is a great way of getting your ideas across to other people in our everyday life of  "ridiculous behavior." I agree, because as the middle child of three girls, each three years apart, I was always using humor to juggle the "ridiculous behavior" among me and my sisters. Funny, they never appreciated the humor I dished out. I think they called it mental anguish, but, thank God the statute of limitations has run out for any civil lawsuits.  Anyway, humor has remained a constant throughout my life, and now it is just one of the ways I communicate with others. Another humorist, I simply adored, was Erma Bombeck (1927-1996) who said, "When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.'" 


Lastly, another woman I especially admire, heed to, and bought the tshirt from is Martha Stewart.   Martha has pure business savvy in areas such as publishing, broadcasting, and merchandising. I have been listening to this mentor for many years, and long before the entire world knew who she was, I bought her first book, Entertaining, when she was justa' caterer from Connecticut. Check out my love for Martha on the October 21, 2009 post of My Life In the Natural State. MS has taught me that you can certainly prevail thru adversity by continuing to be the very best at what you love to do, and being an obsessive compulsive neurotic in the domestic diva category is a "good thing."

These are only a few of my favorite mentors...none are perfect.  I respect and admire what all of these women have contributed to society. I don't put them on a pedestal, because that means I might be selling myself short.  Wouldn't want to do that. Therefore, I have to believe that I can have all the wisdom, humor, and business savvy that these ladies have because I am continuously seeking knowledge...however, I do recall what Vince Lombardi had to say..."The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will."   Guess it wouldn't hurt to throw a little 'will and action' into that steaming pot of knowledge I've been working on all these years.

Responsible Pet Owners

This is a picture of our bossy bird dog named Lady.  She came to stay with us back in 1997 when she was probably about 2 years old.  I remember that day vividly, as I came home and saw her lounging in our front yard. I thought, "Oh, no, another dog for the Hocut household!"  We lived in small town, rural Arkansas at that time and for some reason our street became the 'dump off your dog spot' in Beebe.  Not a lot of responsible dog owners in this neck of the woods! Anyway, I took her to be spayed, dewormed, and all the usual costly vet procedures required of responsible pet owners. Yesterday I had to take Lady to the vet for the last time. She had chronic arthritis and just couldn't get around anymore.  I was able to provide her with pain medication and proper care for most of her life.  I don't think she had been getting that before she chose to live with us. Anyway, we are glad we were able to enrich our lives with the presence of Lady...please be a responsible pet owner. http://warmhearts.org/

On A Quest For...The Reason Why

Have you ever wondered, why?  You know, the reason why some things are the way they are and others are the way they are, too.  Gosh, I have pondered the reason why, for a good part of my life. For instance, I don't understood why some people live to be centenarians and others live for only a few seconds. Or why does someone you thought to be a good friend walk right on by you at the mall without speaking?  Or why does a Blue Bunny King Size Crunch with Candy Center Ice Cream Bar, that has 370 calories and 29g of Total Fat, go right to your belly fat when you eat a couple of them?http://www.bluebunny.com/products/Family_Flavors/Novelties/Bars/d/King_Size_Crunch_with_Candy_Center_Ice_Cream_Bar
Or why do the homeless people you see on the street asking for money, just don't get a job? Or why do people walk, shop, eat, and drive around with a cell phone plastered to their ear?  Who are they talking to? Or why does your 'friend' never call to make plans for lunch nor accepts your requests anymore? Or why those Northwest Airline pilots just didn't pause their games to answer the control tower? Or why have some people never lived outside of a nursing home their entire life while others have had a dozen or so homes in their lifetime?

Oh well, your guesses are as good as mine for some of these questions and other baffling scenarios like them.  In fact, we may never know the answer or the reason why, because we are not able to see the total picture. It would be nice to crop and fix the pictures of our lives, but we can't. And the only thing we will know for certain is what we choose to do about the situation. Not, why it is the way it is.  I'm going to visit Fern today, and I know I'm not going to fly Northwest for a good while!

Calculating Estimated Time of Recovery (ETR)

Brotherly Love - Earl Thomas Conley & Keith Whitley

#3 has recently lost his Bubba, and at this time, is going through an extended period of recovery. I can sympathize with him, but cannot empathize, because I have not lost a sibling as of yet.

However, I did wonder how long he would be in this painful interim of existence. Or how long it might be when he would no longer have that stabbing, tortuous thought process of realizing he would no longer be able to talk to his Bubba, as he often did, every Sunday for the last year. Actually, Bubba did most of the talking. Anyway, I then began to think about other estimated times of recovery. They say that the estimated time of recovery for having a facelift (http://faceforum.com/) is usually about two weeks. And the ETR for a stroke (http://essortment.com/all/strokerecovery) goes on in phases, and could possibly take weeks to years. This has certainly been true for my Daddy. Wonder how you estimate time of recovery on other things like the loss of a pet or surviving the loss or infidelity of a spouse or getting through the insurmountable death of a child? Gosh, I could go on and on and on...but, I won't.

Some of these things I have suffered through, others I have not, and some I hope I never will. But, a few things I do know for sure...Life's hard...so, HANDLE WITH CARE. And it's not the length of these persistent ERTs that matters, rather it's your perseverance during these hard times (and there will be many) that counts.

A Slightly Devilish Birthday Surprise

Yes, I'm in the mood! Tomorrow is my birthday and me and #3 are having a dinner party for a few good friends. I've been in a mischievous kind of mood lately, so for this grand event, I have a devilish little curve ball to throw...Lady Di's Strawberry Sliders! I've been making these juicy red zingers for a few years now, as I got the recipe from a good friend who seems to be a little on the wicked side, too. Love her to death, though! One time we made some of these little jewels for our bridge club, and sat back to watch, as the girls, unsuspectingly, chomped into one. They taste like plain ole strawberries at first, until whammo...it hits you all at once. Giggle, giggle! My bad? Oh, yes I am, and seem to be getting a lot more sinister in my 'old' age. Go ahead, have some fun...make these strawberry sliders and trick and treat your friends or enemies, whomever you prefer! Don't say a word as you serve this sappy treat. Just sit back and watch all the surprised expressions. And do as I do, save the juice to sip from your teacup in a most respectable way. Oh well, #3 's right again, I have always been a little bit on the strange side!

Lady Di's Strawberry Sliders

2 pounds fresh strawberries

1 cup light rum

1 cup vodka

1 cup triple sec

1 cup powdered sugar

Carefully trim the strawberries by gouging out the stem and exposing the hollow center.

Must do this to marinate properly.

Place the berries in a sealed container and sprinkle the powdered sugar all over them.

Add the rest of the tipsy ingredients, seal the container, and jostle for joy.

Refrigerate for at least two days, occasionally tumbling the fruits.

Just prior to serving gently remove the strawberries from their marinade and serve them cold.

Sit back and watch the fireworks!

My Kind of OktoberFest

I can feel the excitement in the air as the days begin to shorten, the leaves start to turn different colors, and October, my most endearing month of the year, is rapidly approaching. I think Nathaniel Hawthorne said it best..."I cannot endure to waste anything as precious as autumn sunshine by staying in the house. So I spend almost all the daylight hours in the open air." Easy for him to do with no plasma screens, computers, or FB page to to worry with. But, I believe, I do know just what he was thinking...aah, the anticipation of those indescribable October skies bring to my mind a few events I forever associate with my beloved month of October. Yes, I'm gearing up for my kind of Oktoberfest when a bountiful harvest of colorful events are brought to my table, and I am grateful for each one.

First of all, and surely the most important (to me that is), is October 12th, the day Columbus discovered America. Just kidding, that's my birth date too. I remember, as a child, having to share CC's famous date and my elementary school teachers were always asking, each year, if anyone knew what special date this was in history. The answer is not, "My birthday!" However, sometime during this exceptional month, #3 and me plan a birthday trip and this year we are headed to the Lone star state. We will spruce up our cowboy hats at Luskey's Western Stores http://luskeys.com, belly up to the bar at the White Elephant Saloon http://whiteelephantsaloon.com/, repulse all the vegans and eat a monster steak at Cattlemen's Steak House http://cattlemenssteakhouse.com , and stay at our favorite whorehouse, Miss Molly's Hotel and Tea Room http://missmollyshotel.com ...all located in the heart of the Historic Stockyards District of Fort Worth, Texas. Love this city...can't wait to see some friends who have recently moved there, too.

Another event that traditionally comes to pass in the month of October is the Arkansas State Fair and Livestock Show http://encyclopediaofarkansas.net. What a whirlwind (usually 7-10 days) of carnival activities, greasy food, great music, rodeo, exhibits, competitions, and oodles of other fun things to do! One of these years, I am going to enter the pickle canning contest, although I'm sure I could never win. Well, maybe with a better attitude, I could. It's never too late to try!

Finally, another event and definitely not the least of my loves, is Halloween, my favorite national holiday. Surely, Halloween is a national holiday, right? There's been so many movies made about this event and one more obnoxious Jason movie is coming soon to a theater near you! Oh well, this is still a fun time in our household. #3 and me usually get dressed in our specially planned Halloween garb and go freak everybody out at George's Majestic Lounge on Dickson Street http://georgesmajesticlounge.com. Will post special Halloween pictures as they come in.

If you are not able to adopt some kind of 'my kind of Oktoberfest' after reading this post, then you are probably never gonna be able to have a little or a lot of fun, and I'm sorry for having to be the one to let you know this. However, thanks for letting me share my favorite time of the year with you and please do tell me yours!

On A Quest For...A Way With Words

I admire people who always speak clearly and effectively. You know those people who have a way with words. I do not have this special gift and forever seem to stumble and stammer when certain occasions arise. Like talking to people. I believe that is why I enjoy writing because I am able to think then do in a more expanded time sequence. I must confess I keep my (well worn) New American Roget's College Thesaurus by my side to look up those word(s) that fail to come easily to me, but I also realize that this useful book cannot help me all the time.

I have often been taught that words are very powerful, so much that they are able to lift one up or bring one down and should never be taken lightly. For instance, the other day, Donna Bragg, NWArkansas 40/29 TV News Anchor, http://4029tv.com/was rescinding a statement (quite eloquently I might add) concerning a report in which she had said that a child had "suffered from Down Syndrome." A multitude of viewers were quick to inform Bragg that her word choice of suffer was incorrect and that these children are very happy and indeed do not suffer in any way. I was glad to learn this via Bragg's blunder, and as I researched information for this blog post, I was also inspired to find out that Senator Edward M. Kennedy, who died this week, was a relentless advocate for the National Down Syndrome Society http://ndss.org/


Anyway, among this discord I am reminded that knowing or finding the best choice of words continues to be an important thing to strive for and easier said than done. And I also know that there will probably always be someone there to help me with this difficult task. That's ok...because I really would love for my words to lift up rather than bring down and I'm always game for learning!