Thursday, April 16, 2009

On A Quest For...

Relief from this abominable depression I have had the last few months... I looked at my 'to do' list the other day and man, was that depressing! Instead of exciting entries like my lists of 'to dos' past which may have included: study for anthropology test...swim with the dolphins...Vegas this week end...get a combo (manicure and pedicure) the world...My present day list activity included: pick up Rx at Walgreen's...mail Dr. Shaw a Monica to set up an appointment for annual pest Mother. It's like I've confirmed Dr. Pity and Mr. Boredom as my new best friends on Facebook. Yet, again in another hideous rut!

Depression has run rampant through my life. Having a psychiatrist for a husband(#2) didn't help the dentist's kids never getting their teeth fixed. Anyway, when somber times would inhabit my body and soul, #2 would suggest that I "shrug it off." What happened to the counselling and drugs...couldn't I get some of that...especially at wholesale prices? Not really, because you see, #2 was concerned about his peers in the health care industry and how they discussed people's problems among each other and we surely did not want details of our unhealthy marriage to get around the community! Heaven forbid people think that a well known psychiatrist had troubles in his own home just like everyone else. Ugh...OK, I guess...

But, I must say, #2 was probably correct (as he usually was about almost everything). Because thru the years, I have found that usually after a long, hard, depressing winter (and that we have certainly had this year) I always experience a wonderful euphoria in April or May called spring fever and all is well in my life again. So, instead of being a depressive in need of drugs and therapy, I've self diagnosed myself with a condition called SAD or seasonal affective disorder which is a type of depression triggered by the seasons that may be related to changes in the amount of daylight during different times of the year. This explains why it comes on in the winter (shorter days - less sunlight) and leaves in the spring (longer days - more sunlight). According to about 1/2 million people suffer from SAD and it is more common in women than in men. Also, this disorder decreases as you get older (yea). Some of the symptoms include craving starches (for sure), drop in energy level (a little), irritability and anxiety (#3 can vouch for this), increased sensitivity to social rejection (duh...who isn't), and avoidance of social situations and a loss in the activities you used to enjoy. So right on.

I do miss my exciting past activities that I so eagerly enjoy planning...and I am beginning to feel a tinge of motivation to make plans as spring and summer begin to creep in. Just today I noticed Kenny Chesney was coming to Alltel Arena...I think #3 and I will plan to go. And, I'm really going to work hard at spicing up my 'to do' list...because we all know that it's not what you have done in the past, but what you are doing in the now that matters! In fact, I'm promptly putting 'save the world' back on my list along with 'get a combo'. And Dr. Pity and Mr. Boredom are really gonna have to go!


  1. I've had depression for most of my life. I waited until I was 25 before I got help because my dad was a psychiatrist and I didn't want to embarass him. But you get to a point where it's either get help or die and though I thought I wanted to die, what I really wanted was relief. I am happy to say that depression is one of the most treatable things in the world and that as long as I am taking my meds, the beast stays away.

    I'm happy you are starting to feel better. It's going to be a great summer!

  2. Oh, and that's a great picture of your feet!